Mad Hatter
by Magnus Salvatore
Summary: "You know what they say about absolute power," I say mildy. "What do they say?" He asks while sipping his tea. "Absolute power absolutely corrupts." Female OC/Reincarnation/OCxShikaku


Chapter One

Mad Hatter

I sat outside on the ledge of the apartment that was meant to hold plants, it was honestly like a tiny tiny pea sized balcony just big enough for me and another to fit. I turned it into a comfort area when I first moved in a year ago, putting cushions and blankets down in the small space.

The fabrics colors ranging from light sky blues to deep rich reds and patterns that reminded me of Africa back in my old world.I leaned back on one of cushions in complete bliss, my guitar sitting comfortably in my lap.

It was another hot day in Konoha but I took some relief in the shade my apartment building gained from the angle of the sun, casting a long shadow over my form and half of the street below.

I picked this room for a reason, in the morning the sun lit up my apartment and during noon and evening it casted shade on my lounge spot. Not to mention the view was lovely.

Picking up my jasmine iced tea I closed my eyes allowing myself to completely relax into the cushions surrounding me.

When I was not on Anbu missions most of my time was spent here just lounging and lazying. Occasionally singing and sometimes just gazing into the distance, being content and just cherishing the present.

I had just come back from a month long assassination mission yesterday and Hokage-sama allowed me two week reprieve until my next mission. I spent it like any other days I have off, sleeping and enjoying myself.

I strummed a few strings of my guitar thoughtlessly as I gazed sightlessly over the village before me. People meandering along the streets, vendors calling out to passerbyer's, children giggling and darting past the legs of adults, mother's comforting their babes, and shinobi running along the roofs to get to their destinations.

The sun was just past noon and cicadas muffled most of the sounds being exchanged around the village. Dust particles and seed tufts drifted in the wind lethargically.

This in turn made me feel sleepy and slowly I started strumming lower notes, a tune starting weaving itself into the air. Soft and steady I started letting out the lyrics I'd been translating into Japanese these past few days.

- **[Put a Gun in my Hand - Dorothy]-**

I hit the palm of my hand against the side of the guitar, picking up a beat.

 _"Why did love put a gun in my hand?"_ I sang quietly, adding in an accent of the villagers that lived quite far from most hidden villages and major export villages. It was slightly reminiscent of the southern accent back in my old world. I thought it perfected the song.

" _Why did love put a gun in my hand?"_ Picking up the pace I also raised my voice a tad louder knowing that even if I sang quietly that all the shinobi that lived in the rest of the apartments in this building would hear me anyway.

 _"Why did love put a gun in my hand?"_ When I first moved into this apartment I had been quite shy on playing my guitar but after awhile you just become unapologetic. Most of the other shinobi have something similar they are unapologetic for.

And by something similar I mean fucking in the middle of the night or getting piss drunk.

 _"In my bed, in my head, in my hand,"_ I also know that most of them are probably listening to me right now. I haven't received any complaints so I must not suck too badly.

 _"Was it for redemption?"_ Recently they've given me a nickname that I find rather amusing. Apparently, I had a lot respect from the shinobi population that I'm not fully aware of.

 _"Was it for revenge?"_ This song originally was rather rough and loud but somehow I've managed to make it soft but I do add the accent and a rough edge to my voice to spice it up. I find that it completes the songs image quite well.

 _"Was it for the bottle?"_ This song was about bitter love and unforgettable pain brought about by it.

Like every chick flick in existence.

 _"Was it for the ledge?"_ I often sings songs that no one here understands, for example, I don't expect anyone to know what a gun is in this world. Actually, I hope no one knows what it is. This world needs less violence.

 _"Was it for the thrill of pushing my hope to the edge?"_ If we put guns into the mix then things would escalate to an unbearable and lethal level. Not that it already isn't.

 _"Why did love, why did love put a gun in my hand?"_ Having another arms race is not something I want this world to go through.

 _"Why did love, why did love put a gun in my hand?"_ I let myself plunge into the intricate weave of the song and allowed my voice to become stronger.

 _"Why did love,"_ I extended the end of love and let it roll on my tongue like fine wine, _"Put a knife in my heart?"_

 _"Why did love open up my scars?"_ I closed my eyes, blocking out the street below and sank into my voice.

 _"Why did love put a knife in my heart?"_ I've been stuck in this world for twenty-two years and was granted the new name 'Chisa' chi- meaning wisdom and sa- meaning aid and help. Of course, I am not inclined in the least in helping anyone specifically. Live and let live is how I go about life. They ask me for help I'll do it, they ask for nothing and I'll give nothing.

 _"In my bed, in my head, in my hea-_

"Senseiiiii~" Genma sang above me, cutting off my singing. Ah, yes, that was the nickname most of the shinobi had picked for me. I don't really know why though. Resting my hand against the strings I also cut off my guitar.

I glanced up at Genma who lived in the apartment above me, he looked about fifteen with dark brown hair that reached his chin and a senbon hung loosely from his mouth. Nostalgia hit me hard in the gut as I remembered a TV show from back in my world about a blonde boy that smiled like the sun.

If I heard correctly Genma had just become a tokubetsu jounin. I also figured in the next few months Anbu will pick him up as a ninjutsu specialist. I ignored him casually, specifically because he is the one fucking in the middle of the night.

"Chisa-sempaiiii~" He sang again, changing my name to catch my attention.

I sighed inwardly before finally turning my gaze to him as he looked down at me mischievously. Rocking back into the pillow behind me I shifted until I was comfortable and leaned my chin onto my hand.

"Hmm?" I asked casually while tilting my head so I just barely made eye contact. His grin widened and his eyes slightly narrowed, happy that I was finally paying attention.

"What's a gun?" He asked innocently but I knew it was as far away from innocent as possible. I knew the Hokage had put him along with some other jounin to live next to me to observe me and gain information on some of my 'odd' and 'weird' ideas.

Now, Hokage didn't doubt me or was suspicious of me being a spy, no, I had lived in Konoha all my reborn life. They just thought I was a wacko job that had potential in creating nonconforming war tactics and _I didn't like to share._

It was a nice way of saying that I'm fucking _weird_ but I have unpredictable and interesting ideas that they could use.

I have no intentions of sharing my thoughts in the least.

It's a game the Hokage and I have been playing for awhile now.

Also apparently the Hokage thought that the new young jounin could use a veteran like myself to wizen them up and give them advice. I say veteran but really I'm only twenty-two and had been in Anbu for about five years which is pretty impressive to the shinobi population since usually most only make it to four years before they are either dead or retired.

Anbu is not healthy in any way but I find it rather relaxing in ways I never thought possible. Like relieving my sadistic tendencies.

I am a ninjustu and taijutsu expert but I'm nowhere near how powerful Maito Guy will be in the future. I focus on using the opponents strength against them and going for weak points of the body thus it ended up leading me to reading medical books and being halfway decent with medical jutsu. I prefer to be well-rounded than being really good in anything specific.

I'm not saying that I _don't_ have a specialized area I just don't like to lack in areas that could quite possibly get me killed.

"Maa Maa~ why do you want to know?" I ask watching him closely, my blue eyes half lidded. He kept his gaze steady and facial features perfectly relaxed but I do see his left hand clench the ledge he was leaning on.

He needs work on bodily control and awareness.

"Just wonderin~," He grins trying to appear cheerful.

"Well…" I hummed thoughtfully as he leans a little bit more over the edge, excited that he might actually get something out of me, I shift a little extending the pause for anticipations sake.

"The sky is rather blue today," I observe thoughtfully.

He deadpans and falls backward comically. I snigger quietly as I hear a long groan bordering on whining before he reappears over the edge.

"Is it a kind of weapon…?" He presses, hoping that I'll give him something even if it's small, his train of thought is not unwholly off track since I have drawn up blue prints of weapons before but never gave the detailed mechanics of it.

Unfortunately, I was forced to present them to the Hokage.

Since then I've been screwed over _and not in the fun way._

Pftt, _politics._

I decide to be nice just for today and give him a nibble even though it'll probably be more trouble than it's worth.

"Well, since you asked so sincerely, my cute duckling, I will say it's a weapon that is faster than the speed of sound," I said flippantly, unaware on how this simple phrase would change my life completely.

His eyes open wide and his jaw drops slightly open allowing his senbon to fall and clatter to the floor.

Not because he _doesn't_ believe me but rather because he _does_ believe me and is taking me seriously.

I take in his expression feeling amusement curl inside me.

Definitely needs more bodily control.

I hold his wide stare in boredom letting my red stained lips turn up slightly in the corners before it grew into a wicked grin.

"I adore that expression on your face, it's rather endearing," I tease making my tone of the upper class and sultry. I press my palm to my cheek and hooded my eyes, emphasizing my theatrics.

His jaw clicks shut and he snorts in amusement, his face changing to a _'are you serious?'_ expression. I giggle and give him a genuine smile before lazily getting to my feet.

"You're such a tease you know that?" He whines for real this time.

"Only for you," I reply easily, amusement still curling my lips, "Now go report to the Hokage on your findings."

Guilt flashes across his face before landing on apologetic. I wave it away lethargically.

"It's not like you have much choice," I say, "No need for hard feelings."

He gives me a small smile before disappearing back into his apartment, no doubt already making his way to the Hokage tower to report what I just said.

I give thirty minutes to an hour before I'm called to the Hokage tower myself along with a few others.

Taking out a small storage seal I put my guitar into it and carefully roll up the scroll tight enough that it fits into the small metal tube about the length of my forefinger that's hanging on a string around my neck.

It reminds me of the necklace urns back in my world and its where I got the idea from so I could get it made at the weapons smith in the village.

He and I get along like math to memory.

It doesn't stick.

I love it.

My guitar is also something that didn't exist in this world so I had to draw up the plans when I was about ten and visit the instrument maker and seller here in the village.

When I first showed him the designs I practically saw his eyes light up and said that he would make it if I let him keep the designs though I told him that I didn't particularly care what he did with the designs as long as I get ten percent profit and he made my guitar.

My guitar was done two weeks later for free and a month later I saw another guitar in his shop ready to be bought with words scrawled on the side of it that said 'Chisa'. I remembering laughing loudly in the middle of the street with people gawking at me because I introduced freaking _guitars_ into this world.

I also felt a bit of pride, they were so popular back in my old world that it makes me slightly happy at the possibility of them getting popular in this world.

That's not the only thing I brought to this world. I also brought mechanical pencils about five years ago, I made one since they are relatively easy but it was mostly made out of wood and then sold the design to the biggest shop in the village as long as I got ten percent of the profit.

Nowadays mechanical pencils are mundane and I have more money than I know what to do with.

I also brought lemonade, orange juice, pineapple juice, and a few other kinds of juice. I opened a stand a few years ago out of boredom.

I now have about three juice stands around the village under my name as owner and these past few years I've been expanding the stands into places that also make smoothies, juice, ice cones, ice cream, and relatively cold drinks.

The children really loved it when I introduced ice shaped as different animals, flowers and shuriken. Another deal I made with the weapons smith for him is to make ice molders.

I honestly don't know what to do with all my money.

I raise my employees pays to where they are living in comfort and most times I only choose those who really need it. Single mothers, single fathers, pregnant teenagers, retired shinobi, homeless children, and ect.

I don't waitress there in my free time much anymore but when I do visit it gets rather lively. My shops are closed in winters and holidays unless an employee specifically says they want to work.

Sadly, not everyone has family to celebrate holidays and I understand that it can be painful.

Now the thing that surprised me the most was how popular it was with the shinobi population but I soon realized it was because we make our drinks in front of them.

It started off as entertainment for children on shaking and mixing the drinks around in the front of them to see all the colors and twists we could make. Some of the employees even throw shit in the air and catch it in different cups for the kids but mostly only the retired shinobi are capable of that.

But because the shinobi can see us making their drinks they are able to be at ease about poisoning and such. They especially like dropping by after training.

Workaholics and paranoids, I say.

Then again I am Anbu.

 _Eh._

I just like my stands because I make the most profit with the least amount of work.

Most people don't think about about the small mundane things.

A small nock against my window alerted me to the hawk waiting for me to take the message around his foot.

I sigh heavily knowing exactly what it is.

I grumbled under my breath before opening the window and taking the scroll. I broke the seal and read that the Hokage had summoned me.

I sighed again and closed the window, signaling the hawk to take back off.

I rubbed the necklace around my neck for comfort before grabbed my jounin vest and threw it on over my mesh shirt. Slipping on my shinobi sandals I closed the door behind me and locked it before I began moseying slowly to my destination.

Who cares if I'm a little late.

* * *

I knocked on the door lightly and waited. I heard a few muffled words before it quieted down.

"Enter," The Hokage commanded.

I leisurely open and closed the door behind me before making my way to the middle of the room and bowed.

"Hokage-sama," Is all I said. I glanced at the two men standing on one side of the room, to the left of the Hokage.

Ah.

Nara Shikaku and Yamanaka Inoichi, both clan heirs and part of the Ino-Shika-Cho team. Both twenty-four years old and teammates for twelve years. I remember most of their characteristics and personalities from the anime I watched and fan fictions I read back in my old world.

I'd be lying if I said I wasn't at least somewhat intimidated.

Nara Shikaku, part of the Nara Clan known for their intellect, war strategies, and medicines. Later in life would become jounin commander, a formidable man, and father of Nara Shikamaru.

A man I would like to avoid honestly though he and I probably share the same laziness. I'd be lying if I wasn't somewhat interested to see how he is in real life.

Yamanaka Inoichi, part of the Yamanaka Clan known for their mind justu and study of psychology that they apply during interrogations and information gathering in the Torture and Interrogation Force. Became a head interrogator two years ago and later in life would become father of Yamanaka Ino. Another formidable man who I would like to avoid.

Both are two of the smartest men in Konoha.

Both I would be facing along with the Hokage.

All this goes through my head in less than a second as I flick my eyes back to the Hokage. I lean back on my heels, slouching with my hands in my pockets and sigh heavily.

I let my gaze wander as he smokes his pipe in thought.

"Chi-chan, I was informed that you created a weapon that is faster than the speed of sound, they said you called it a 'gun.' Also, you're late." He states without much emotion, kind of like reading off a grocery list. I see Shikaku and Inoichi both blink slightly startled, apparently they didn't know why they were here or they were surprised on how casual the Hokage talks to me.

I'd say a bit of both.

I take my right hand out of my pocket and push my curly blonde hair out of my eyes as I begin to twirl one of pieces between my fingers. Usually I don't display this habit but there really is no harm here.

"Hmm~" I blink slowly with my half lidded eyes, the Hokage waits patiently for me to reply. Knowing that rushing me would just make me even more reluctant to talk and would drag this conversation out even longer.

"Maa~ Genma-chan was too cute, I had to tease him a little bit. Especially with how dog like he is, I could practically see his tail wagging," I eye smile at the Hokage.

He sighs.

"Before we get into that I wanted to introduce two people to you," He indicates with a wave of his hand to the two men standing on the side, "This is Nara Shikaku," Shikaku raises his hand to show who the name belongs to, "And this is Yamanaka Inoichi, both of them are two years older than you and jounin just like you," Inoichi dips his head into a slight bow, I mirror his bow.

I'm not one much for formalities but I'm not rude either.

"Inoichi-san, Shikaku-san, this is Chisa-chan a jounin and specialist in ninjutsu and taijutsu, she has been one of my personal Anbu guards for many years. She is also one of the smartest people I know." Both of theirs widen at all that information, I keep my expression neutral but I'm slightly put out.

"Now I know that you have multiple deals with stores and profit from selling some of your ideas," The Hokage turns back to me.

"Hai," I reply.

"What deals are these specifically?" He asks.

I tap my finger with my chin and try to find a way to word it where it takes the least amount of energy.

"I take ten percent profit on any mechanical pencil or chisa sold because it was originally my design and I made a deal with a store owner," I answered, that's right instead of calling the instrument a guitar they named it after this worlds creator which happened to be me so they call them "chisa's" instead of guitars.

I feel so proud.

"How did you come up with that idea?" He asks with genuine curiosity.

"Which one?" I asked.

"Start with the pencil," He clarified.

"Well, one day I was sitting in class back in my academy days trying to sharpen my pencil and I was getting shavings everywhere. I was slightly irritated with it all and I decided I wanted a pencil I never have to sharpen ever again," I explained childishly.

"So basically you were lazy," The Hokage deadpans.

"Hai," I smiled sweetly at him.

"And the chisa's?"

"I didn't like any of the instruments they had so I made my own."

"What about all those juice stands you own?"

"I wanted lemonade and didn't want to make it myself," I said honestly.

The Hokage face palmed.

I raised my eyes slightly impressed that I just made the most powerful man in the village face palm.

Like.

Damn.

I must be better at this than I thought.

"Fine, back on topic, so you're saying that you lied about the weapon?" He sighs.

"Not exactly, Hokage-sama," I reply slightly humored on this round about conversation.

A slight spark of curiosity glints in his eyes at my words.

"You did make a weapon faster than the speed of sound?" He asks again, rewording his question.

I smile a bit.

We've played this game way too often.

"I didn't make it per say but I do know of a weapon that's faster than the speed of sound," I say picking my words carefully.

"It already exists?" The Hokage looks a bit surprised.

I widen my smile a bit.

"No, it does not exist."

 _Not in this world anyways._

"So you came up with the idea," He says more than asks.

I stay silent and I guess he takes it as confirmation.

"Can you make it?" He asks.

"It's possible," I say honestly. Now both Shikaku and Inoichi are watching our conversation like a tennis match, their eyes going back and forth between the Hokage and I, faces completely neutral.

I stop the Hokage's next words with holding up my hand and he sighs heavily in his seat, leaning back a bit.

He knows what comes next.

"I'll make a deal with you," My lips curled up into a real smile at the dread on the Hokage's face, "If you can solve my riddle I'll make the weapon for you."

Shikaku and Inoichi shift on their feel a bit, the only indication that they are completely invested in the conversation.

Some of you may be wondering why the Hokage is tolerating such a deal. Well because I've been one of his personal Anbu guards for years and everyday when I would come for my shift I would exchange ideas with him on how to entertain his kids or how to teach them certain lessons.

I would also help him on paper work and how to go about certain things with civilians or delicate subjects. Let's just say that he confides in me quite a bit, sort of like off the books advisor.

It just sort of came about and we're both not quite certain how it happened.

The Hokage wipes a hand across his face.

"Fine, what's the time limit," He concedes reluctantly though smiles a bit.

"Three days," He blanches at that, usually I only give him one day. He takes this as a sign that it's going to be an especially hard riddle.

 _Well, he's not wrong._

"I have a few conditions of my own," The Hokage challenged. I raise my eyebrow, finally we are getting to the real reason why I am here.

"Hai?" I say, indicating for more information.

"I want to be able to confide in anyone in the village about this riddle," He says slowly.

"Ahh, so that's why you have these two here," I state glancing at the other two men in the room. A look of comprehension crosses their face and then neutrality again.

"Partly," The Hokage confirms.

"What's the other condition?" I inquire.

The Hokage shifts a bit before taking a long drag from his pipe, sharp eyes studying my relaxed figure.

"If I solve the riddle in the time limit I not only want you to make this 'gun' but I also want you to take up the position of Tactics Advisor," His low voice rumbles.

I reach back up and start twirling one of my blonde curls again in thought.

Well, there's the real reason why I'm here.

Tactic's Advisor is just how it sounds, creating different methods of going about war. Ambushes, position strategies, negotiations, infiltration, interrogations, information collecting, developing missions, directing Anbu teams, and ect. It also meant I would be working directly under the Jounin Commander and spending most of my time with the Konohagakure Intelligence Division, possibly the Torture and Interrogation Force also.

 _Ughhh_ , that means I would be spending most of my time with both Shikaku and Inoichi.

This would also not leave me lot of time to take on Anbu missions too.

I stopped twirling my curl and returned my hand into my pocket for safe keeping.

Meh, what's life without a bit of risk.

"I'll accept it," I dip my head in acknowledgement, resulting in sealing the deal.

"Okay out with it," He grumbles. I think he hates riddles just as much as his paperwork.

Slowly my red lips spread into a wicked grin.

The Hokage's face paled a bit at my expression and both men's eyes on the side narrow at my sudden change in demeanor.

"Why is a raven like a writing desk?"

The Hokage groans loudly not even ten seconds after I announce the riddle, Shikaku has a look of contemplation on his face, and Inoichi is just staring at me.


End file.
